And while I don't quite feel up to much yet, later this week is the beginning of Oncology visits. We are trying to find the best choices for traditional care as well as alternative support. You see, medicine is now getting much longer survival rates, so long term side effects of treatment really are a valid concern for me. "Oh wow, you lived long enough to have heart problems," is not an entirely successful outcome in my book. Oh, and you can call me crazy, I want to find all of this near home.
Send Laura and me lots of love. I am hard to deal with when I am ready to move to action on one level, yet physically cannot on another and she is present with both sides of that equation.
Sarah is off playing with Dad and much of the Fab 5 on VA Beach- a perfect place for them all. Fun for Sarah is a relief for me Then will we have three weeks to fill before school starts.
Thanks all for your love and care.
Tomorrow afternoon we hope to hear on the pathology report from surgery. Thursday, naturopathic consult, Friday, oncology consult. Still have a couple of other people to call to talk to- see if we are a good fit.
And I simply get to keep finding my way back to be gentle and loving of self. Loving of all my parts, missing as well as present, "healthy" or not. Woozy or not:-)
Blessings all,
A
~who feels slightly clearer having written a bit
OK! Sending lots of love to you and Laura.
ReplyDeleteThink green!
As someone who has been known to overwork while needing to recuperate, I completely understand that strange state of feeling like one needs to do something but lie there and simultaneously feeling like doing nothing, dreading the smallest conversation while wanting to be cared for at the same time. This does pass. You are starting to emerge, but let the body rest and get reasonably strong before gallivanting about (even just intellectually) and "working" on what to do next. This time is actually a frustrating blessing. Did I mention I love and miss you both?
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